Site materials are based on the research, theories and clinical treatment and organizational development strategies of Martin G. Groder, M.D. and Anastasia Rosen-Jones (formerly Marcia E. Rosen). The Groder-Rosen formal name for the "Dark Side" is the "Survivor Addict".

Friday, August 4, 2017

Winners And Losers: A Paradigm For Each

Winner Survivors* Do These Things

Scroll down on Winner and Loser lists for new additions, today, August 6, 2017
  • Confronts and deals with reality;
  • Strives to live in the Light;
  • Lets go of resistances and defending;
  • Avoids trying to control others;
  • Is consistently open to learning from life's lessons;
  • Sets intentions to learning from others;
  • Is determined to succeed at all levels (body, mind and spirit);
  • Takes risks to improve relationships with others;
  • Resolves conflicts with others, including managing anger in healthy ways;
  • Takes responsibility -- is transparent and accountable;
  • Participates fully in life, daring to be all one can be;
  • Uses fullest capacities;
  • Makes and keeps commitments;
  • Always tells the fullest truth of their knowing (Except when genuine threats to survival are present.) Added October 29;
  • Experiences, fully, reality-based pain and other emotions;
  • Grieves losses fully;
  • Expects others to be transparent, responsible and accountable;
  • Acknowledges limitations;
  • Learns from mistakes;
  • Allows self to be inspired and empowered by nature (fresh air, sunshine and the great outdoors); Added 8/6/17
  • Attends to nutrition, exercise, physical, emotional and spiritual health; Added 8/6/17
  • Seeks to find joy, appreciation and inspiration in others (Quakers call this "Looking for the G-d in every one); Added 8/6/17
  • Is loving, caring and compassionate toward self and others.

Loser Survivors* Do These
  • Avoids dealing with full reality;
  • Stubbornly holds on to being right;
  • Invests in defending him/herself;
  • Sabotages the well being of self and others;
  • Avoids taking risks related to being fully honest with self and others;
  • Shuts others out/keeps others distant;
  • Invests in illusions;
  • Holds grudges and resentments;
  • Avoids full involvement in life;
  • Makes excuses for personal stagnation;
  • Exploits personal fears to justify hiding;
  • Avoids or breaks commitments;
  • Avoids valid emotional pain;
  • Avoids necessary grieving;
  • Avoids personal responsibility;
  • Lies to self and others;
  • Fosters personal survival-based addictions;
  • Encourages addictions in others;
  • Holds on to controlling others;
  • Avoids acknowledging limitations;
  • Often seeks out and/or creates chaos; Added 8/6/17
  • Often complains and holds grudges; Added 8/6/17
  • Instead of learning, repeats mistakes;
Which of these paradigms are you living in? 

Which one is you being all you aspire to be? 

Which one is you doing all you would like to see yourself do?

Check these out to see where your strengths and weaknesses lie.

The Survivor Addict Inventory and the Catalogue of Survival Driven Behaviors are tools that can help you with this assessment.

* Use this link to read how the "mysterious capability" of our biological survival instinct plays a critical role in our being "winners" or "losers." It's a matter of choice, more than anything. But nature and nurture do play important parts.

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