Under construction (Check back, periodically, as we continue to edit and update this piece.)
A poem of sorts, as I begin my Ethics Complaint healing, at long last, from sexual harassment and power abuse by Martin G. Groder. M.D.
Twas the night before Xmas and all through my house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Meanwhile I, in my night shirt, had a new book to read.
It had arrived, just in time, for curling up with a need –
-- for a good???? book on this cold, wintery eve.
Whilst I awaited Santa, his eight tiny reindeer and sleigh, a tale of misdeeds revealed had arrived in the mail.
Settling in, as I did, I with this new book of mine, a voice from beyond called out, requesting some time.
“Marcia,” said he, using my birth name, as he’d done in the past –
“I’ve come to settle up harm and damages done you by me.
I’m here to give what you'd asked, if you’ll allow.
From my place above (And, yes, that’s where I’ve landed. Are you surprised?)
Free of my customary revenge-taking, I’m here to offer what I resisted before: compassionate, respectful dialogue, conversation, healing and reconciliation.
How else had you thought to resolve an ethics complaint against me, for the harm I did you, with a man who’s deceased,” he asked.
“Uh, oh, said I, what have we here?”
Truly the defection of our colleagues (the International Transactional Analysis Association and its Ethics Committee) had ended up doing more harm than good –
-- adding to the heavy doses of malice you'd already inflicted," I answered back.
Should I dare risk another attempt at healing attempts beyond my,own means, I queried?
Take another chance at telling my tale only to pay an exorbitant price for breaking my silence, wanting only to be listened to, as a first step toward the peace and ease I seek?
Certainly, I've given this quandary I’ve been in some thought, on many an occasion, these twelve months past.
Almost begging the Ethics Committee of the ITAA to do their rightful duty, as laid out in their official Ethics and Professional Practices guidelines and rules.
To no avail.
Of course, I naively expected they would carry through the mandate they had.
But as we already know, they failed miserably, betraying my long-held trust.
And, as we saw, their minimal efforts did not last.
Now lo and behold, am I to revisit the harm I’ve endured, based on what you offer me now, at this late date?
Pondering this turn of events, I wondered "What should I do with this apparition, presenting itself here as the ghost Martin G. Groder, the ghost of the man who used his power and authority over me to cause long-lasting, still enduring, harm?
Pointing out he had left behind, upon his demise, a completed written testimony on his Dark Side Warrior, his ghosts of the past, would I not, now, give him a chance?
Asserting that, in true Compassionate Warrior mode, before he left, he had cleaned up his act, wanting nothing more, now from me, but to help my resolve.
Read carefully this missive, Winning At Love: The Alpha Males Guidebook To Relationship Success, said he, implying, with an all too familiar certainty, that it was his doing, from the other side, that had sent me that book, delivered perfectly on time, the very same day I dared reveal, publicly, his harmful behaviors of me.
So here was the ghost of himself, come to get on my back and haunt me for going public, announcing to an unfiltered audience, his dark deeds of the past, if I would not give him a chance to do right by me now.
Under construction
Here in this tome, co-authored by Pat Webster, Ph.D, was the singular text that would lend Marty a voice to set the record straight, for his part, as I do mine, to call out his Dark Side.
What to do? What to do?
Pondering still, I sat down to read.
Dialogue, acknowledge, down on bended knee, with remorse, when and where guilty of malice, as he had, indeed been.
Amends for harm done is the only true way, said I.
So here's what I can do, I will publicly complain about you, Marty, as is my right, said I, as I sat down to read, on Christmas Eve, words from the grave and beyond.
So I can stop carrying the cost of my quiet, stored up for nearly thirty years, since the final days of your revenge on me for my rebuffs of you, which, in truth, I am still paying.
That is my pledge to me, as well as to others, especially women, who have walked in shoes like mine.
However, using words from your book, as I quote and interpret them, I will try to do my best to give you sound bytes and data space to share through this last major publication of yours, some of your thoughts and lessons learned to round off the process.
My goodness, what an adventure this is already starting out to be!
More to come.
