Excerpted (edited and updated) from …
The Voice Of New Horizons Center
© Marcia E. Rosen, 1985
Most of us like to think we are fairly honest. In fact, the majority of people believe they are quite committed to their personal integrity. If and when someone questions our honesty or truthfulness, we are usually offended, even self-righteously ANGRY,
“Oh, no, not I!! LYING???!!
One "verifiable truth," however, according to the advanced Transactional Analysis research and theories, the GRAD theory, of Dr. Martin G. Groder, M,D. and New Horizons Executive Director and Founder, Marcia E. Rosen (see The Voice Of New Horizons, Volume #1, #1, Spring, 1985), is that the majority of people in our contemporary society are so frequently driven by survival imperatives other than honesty, integrity and truthfulness that truth-telling often lies far down on the list of priorities.
Sometimes, in fact, truth-telling and its companion, truth-listening, are actually viewed as the antithesis to survival necessities, too cumbersome, too distracting from one's greater goals.
So why bother taking the time to be genuinely straightforward
In other words, "Honesty does not pay well."
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| New Horizons, circa 1986 |
As a nation of civilized people, we are very urgently involved in getting our own self-important wants/needs met. As a result we are accustomed to getting by on minimal, half-truths, accepting that this is adequate.
If, however, as individuals and interconnected communities, we are content to accept this state of affairs, wherein half-truths, white lies and even bold-faced lies are acceptable, we are actually limiting our "civilized" capabilities, operating a bit more savage than we like to think of ourselves as doing and being.
What's your take?
And is your "truthful" answer to that question, consistent with how you genuinely live your life?
If we pause long enough to examine this situation -- as it is today -- we might discover that the cost of the quiet, the holding back, the coloring of facts and the lack of being more transparently forthcoming, all of which distort full reality, may be costing more than we truly wish to pay.
From this vantage place, we might see that the proliferation of non-truths is potentially at great cost to us, as citizens, if we look closely at what is accepted as "fact," in us and around us -- because we have not made telling the truth important enough as a personal responsibility.
As the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous suggest -- "We thought we could find an easier, softer way... (meaning without sobreity), but...
The same applies to becoming a dedicated truth-teller which should not come as a surprise. For example. I discovered in my professional work, especially in my role as GAME Conductor, that truth-telling, truth-listening and even full truth-knowing (i.e. being optimally conscious) does not come with ease to the MAJORITY of people.
So much so that non-truth telling is almost addictive to many, if not most, people.
On the other hand, many have made being disturbed by the lies others tell of great concern, such as the finger-pointing of the anti-Trumpers.
Our current president has certainly brought the flagrant disregard for truth-telling to the fore for many people presently.
However to do this finger-pointing at Trump while omitting the responsibility each and everyone of us has for, also telling the truth, leaves personal accountability out of the equation for solving the problems of lying and corruption in our society, making a joke of the drama playing out daily on the American stage, socially and politically.
We will look at these issues here, over time, "G-d willing and the creek don't rise."
In the essay that follows, I will present perspectives on the topic of truth-telling, originally based on my training and supervision with both Dr. Groder and Ken Windes, a prominent, rehabilitated convict, now deceased, who was, also, Marty’s protegee and my mentor, teaching me the technology to become the Master Conductor of the New Horizons Truth Or Dare GAME, intent on getting at the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as an essential pathway to transformation.
Beginning with the extensive and intense guidance and training these two men afforded me, I have, since, come to believe that “telling the truth” is the essential foundation, practically, theoretically and strategically, for treating dysfunction in individuals, relationships, communities, businesses and organizations – and – even a nation, that these may all be return to a basic state of health, well-being and the potential for evolving to their highest capacities.
Truth-telling is one essential in critical problem-solving.
How can we, as a nation of "civilized people,
ignore that piece of truth and thrive??
Ask yourself!
Discuss it with your friends, family and neighbors.
That's what we are doing more and more, each day, at New Horizons as our Truth Or Dare GAME takes center stage in programs and projects and, on a regular basis, as a grounding strategy for our Board of Directors that is regularly using as a grounding strategy.
We've been doing our Truth or Dare GAME for close to forty-five years at New Horizons. Yet, now, with our revitalized GAME each New Horizons/Small "Zones Of Peace" Board Member GAME player is presently discovering new vistas of wholeness, beauty and joy in the doing.
Thus both our personal and our collective Pro-Truth Pledges are lifting us, amazingly.
Such a simple thing, it would seem, truth-telling and truth-listening.
But not easy at all!
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