What Are The Building Blocks Of The Exceptional Community?: Question 4

Questions and Answers About Groder-Rosen (GRAD) Theory Principles and Perspectives

The discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Q and A: A work in progress

Question #4 from a reader: Anastasia, are there some building blocks for the “Exceptional Community” that we can begin practicing right away?

Answer #4:  Definitely. In fact I have been laying these out for readers since I began writing (2010) for the first of my three blog sites, the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project blog. 

What I am about to put up, here, for your exploration, asap, will enable you, this very day with hints from that site, to go out in the world (or stay in, if it’s chilly where you are like it is here) and start “exceptional” community-building, after you catch on to even one or two principles and guidelines as I have explained them thus far.

Some of these you may already be applying just because your instincts have shown you the way to the “high” way!

If you have been following (or do now follow) my postings on these three sites; the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project blog, Anastasia The Storyteller, and this one, Exploring Your Dark Side, you may soon begin to see that many principles and hints are already displayed.

Couched in various discussions, I have also been offering my particular set of exceptional community building blocks on my two radio shows, The Possible Society In Motion Radio Show and Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show, since their beginnings. (“Takeaway" questions are sometimes suggested at the tail end of these programs that may also suggest some applications of GRAD to you.)

Of course, these building blocks were not being presented in a systematic format up until now. However, now, through this site, I believe I am in a position to remedy this and use this site, my Dark Side Warrior site (my name for it) as the organizing center for that effort. 

I will begin by outlining four of the most important foundation pieces.  They are listed below. Then I will provide you with some working details on how to learn more about these by going to articles already previously written while I go on to figure out (because I don’t know yet) ways in which I can assist you online with the application of these.

Of course, if you really want my help and what I am offering here is not adequate for your eager interest in becoming an “exceptional community” activist right away, you can always contact me by email at: SuperSleuthDSW@aol.com or on my cell: 240.409.5347 where you will likely be asked to leave a message.

Good luck to all who wish to travel with me!

We are now at the beginning of an adventure of a lifetime!

Exceptional Community Foundation Building Block Principles

• Lean In: No matter what, lean it toward others with an intent to be bridge builders of humanity at its best. (Of course, don't do this if you are in danger or if it would be unhealthy for some other reason. And, if you are introvert such as I am be sure to balance this with making ample space for your solitude or solitary activities);

• Avoid debates: Strive to always find the path to dialogue. Debate separates and polarizes. Watch out for intellectualizing rather than connecting with others on a heart level;

• Get yourself out of the “lower triangle”  (i.e. survival-driven behaviors and attitudes). The lower triangle is displayed in this posting as the second graphic on the page. Notice on that diagram that there is a triangle with the markings on the side indicating "survival consciousness." This is another angle to explore to apply this item.  I will discuss its intrpetation as we proceed.);

• Strive to consistently behave by putting what Murat* called the “Spectrum Of Love” attributes into your regular daily activities. (In other words, act "as if" if you are yet unable to "be" the real deal.  

(* The best model I can suggest for now is that you imagine yourself on Murat's Bus Ride Story Adventure and how you might, in that setting, be inclined to handle yourself. We will get to this instruction later. For now, simply consider it as a formula to be learned.)

What Is An Exceptional Community?, Question #3

Questions and Answers About Groder-Rosen (GRAD) Theory Principles and Perspectives

This discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Q and A: A work in progress 

Question #3:1 from a reader: Anastasia, you have given us an overview of some different types of communities. Still you seem to keep stressing that “the”  type of community that is most exemplary would be likely to have certain characteristics in common with the New Horizons “Exceptional Community Model.” Can you describe your “Exceptional Community” approach – and – additionally….

A small "zone of peace" can be anywhere.

Question #3:2 from a reader: … tell us what you see as the viability of sustainability of such communities.

Answer #3:1: In my manuscript in progress, “The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard” I describe New Horizons’ “Exceptional Community” as follows.

The following is excerpted from “The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard,” (a manuscript in progress).

Commonly held views of a “community” define it as “a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government and are bound together by various interests, characteristics and values they hold in common.   

A definition of community that is more exceptional, however, holds that the most exemplary type of community has several other distinct characteristics. These qualities carry the normally-held view of a community forward into an extraordinary form; one that has the potential to deliberately elevate its members in such areas of human development as character development, cooperation, civility, conflict resolution and violence prevention. 

New Horizons has a model of this type. It is called the New Horizons “Exceptional Community Model.”  It may be a bit idealistic but its application is do-able while its sustainability can be acquired over time, once set in place.  New Horizons own version lasted for close to twenty years (1976 to 1998), succumbing to a wearing away only after I lost my eyesight.

One characteristic of the exceptional community is that the members are particularly like-minded regarding the necessity for resolving conflicts in ways that represent social justice in a superlative fashion. A second is that they function synergistically. The presence of these two attributes*; like-mindedness and synergy, separates the exceptional community from all other communities.  

To the extent that members not only share common values, interests and characteristics (i.e. like-mindedness) in a particular locality and under one government, but also consistently seek to function synergistically, they set themselves on a course of evolving. Evolving as a group can be the basis for producing an “exceptional community.” 

The exceptional community is a thriving, healthy organic system that makes every possible attempt to maintain harmony and peace. In the exceptional community, violence could, someday, even become obsolete because the conditions that foster violence become unnecessary. 

In today’s world the exceptional community is an important model for creating a “culture of prevention,” a significant deterrent to the proliferation of violence. (The Tunisian National Dialogue Quartet is an example of this.)

The Exceptional Community Model is an example of an intentional community approach.

Answer #3:2: Sustainability is, indeed, a challenge, as evidenced by the high rate of mortality of communities of this type; the intentional community variety. However, the impermanence factor need not be a constant deterrent if we remember the following:

• Lasting cultural change is slow and accumulative. For example, many fought for the abolishment of slavery in this country as well as an instituting of voting rights for women before these came about; 

• Social change, thus, is a long-term investment. For example, now, more than forty years after the widespread counter-culture movement in this country of the late 196os and early ‘70s, many of us who came of age in that era are watching our children and grandchildren – and – even great grandchildren incorporating our progressive ideals such as civil rights and women’s equality into their “ordinary” daily lives as though they were second nature to them;

• In actuality we can pay attention to the words of Gandhi on the subject of creating world peace when he stated that to accomplish this “We do best to begin by carving out territories or zones of peace in our personal relations where violence and deceit won’t be used.”  

Brittany Wilson, the winner of a New Horizons’ essay contest stated it this way…

"I believe this quote (Gandhi’s) to mean metaphorically that if you are angry, you could find a quiet place in (your) mind. In reality, it could mean that if two friends live near each other, and there was a park that was close to both of them, they could call the park a zone of peace." 

To us at New Horizons, Brittany’s statement exemplifies that each and every one of us has the wherewithal to build small “zones of peace” and/or exceptional communities by reaching out not much farther than an arm’s length. Thus one might say the effort is ours for the making.

Notes on the New Horizons’ “Exceptional Community Model” approach.

Many types and varieties of communities exist today, especially in this day and age of the internet. Additionally, there are likely many types and varieties of even “exceptional communities.”  Those I have been able to find that have had a natural or organic emergence have, consistently, been of an indigenous nature, originating in native lands and circumstances. Other than these I have found intentional communities such as have grown up throughout the United States since its founding and, particularly, in the latter twentieth century.

To the extent these communities do, indeed, aspire to attain individual and collective transformation as does New Horizons, I know of very few and wish you well in finding them.  If and when you do, if you decide to participate in them, you will be, as I have been along with many others, likely to be changed for a lifetime. New Horizons has been known for close to forty years to have established communities of this nature.

By my describing the origins and operations of New Horizons’ “Exceptional Community Model” you may get a taste of one intended, created and sustained exceptional community. (The “old” New Horizons community ceased to operate in 1998 when I lost my eyesight. It is now in the process of intending to re-build.)

In general New Horizons as an exceptional community model derives from five main sources: 

• Asklepeion Therapeutic Community Model or Total Learning Environment (TLE); 
• New Horizons’ modification of the Asklepeion TLE model (“old” New Horizons); 
• Kebzeh Community as taught by Murat Yagan; 
• Quaker Process as introduced to us through my collaborator and New Horizons’ board member, Sue deVeer and; 
• The Everyday Democracy methodology for community dialogue and problem solving.

These threads weave together in a unique fashion, making up the New Horizons’ “Exceptional Community Model,” a unique and complex community development and violence prevention approach that has been evolving since 1973. You can read of  the various principles that underlie the methodology by reading our three of our blog sites, integratively, and listening to our Possible Society In Motion Radio Show, as we broadcast it or on podcast. 

When you have done this background work, conscientiously, you are likely to still be in the dark as to how exactly our approach works, intent always on turning lead into gold in individuals and the collective. 

Then your real deal, Dark Side transformation work can begin to reach for the next levels of development with guidance such as I have available to provide or with someone else who has traveled the path and has come to know its intricacies.  

This aspect of the adventure; mentorship, coaching and guidance,  is essential as you will not and cannot find all the hiding places of your Dark Side on your own and the transformation of this entity, the Dark Side, is critical.  

Choose your guide carefully as relatively few are equipped to assist you with this discovery and transformation, systematically, as I have learned to be.  I credit my two mentors, Martin G. Groder, M.D. and Murat Yagan, with this edification of mine and, also, Ken Windes who taught me some of my most important skills.

Question #2: Are All “Communities” Alike?

Questions and Answers About Groder-Rosen (GRAD) Theory Principles and Perspectives

The discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Q and A: A work in progress

Question from a reader: Anastasia when you speak of the importance of community, do you mean to say that all communities are alike or are you just certain “communities?

Overarching Answer #2:1: 

In some respects I put all communities under one heading as all, or almost all, will have certain characteristics in common.  These attributes include:

• Communities existing as any collective of individuals, groups and certain sub-groups;
• The gathering together of these people can be indicative of their sharing of certain common purposes such as establishing housing near water, transportation or schools, or as members of a church or club such as Rotary or the Lion’s Club’
• Members of these communities share a like-mindedness for something, even if only one thing such as living on the same street or in the same  neighborhood.

Overarching Answer #2:2: 

Next, in my organizing system about likenesses and differences in community types, I begin to differentiate one community type from another by designating them as distinct merely by being naturally or organically formed, or intentionally organized.

The natural or organically formed community -- Meets the critera of an "ordinary community" as indicated below. Thus this type of community will naturally emerge out of geographical connectedness.

Community Types – Wikipedia -- Wikipedia has an extensive discussion on community types, including those of the internet.

Dysfunctional Community

Ordinary Community (as defined in the dictionary) -- Commonly held views of a “community” define it as “a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government and are bound together by various interests, characteristics and values they hold in common.   


The intentionally formed community -- 


Exceptional Community -- A definition of community that is more exceptional, however, holds that a true, healthy-affirming community has several other distinct characteristics. These qualities carry the normally-held view of a community forward into an extraordinary form; New Horizons call this the exceptional community.  

One characteristic of the exceptional community is that the members are particularly like-minded regarding the necessity for resolving conflicts in ways that represent social justice in a superlative fashion. A second is that they function synergistically. The presence of these two attributes*; like-mindedness and synergy, separates the exceptional community from all other communities.  

To the extent that members not only share common values, interests and characteristics (i.e. like-mindedness) in a particular locality and under one government, but also consistently seek to function synergistically, they set themselves on a course of evolving. Evolving as a group can be the basis for producing an “exceptional community.” 

The exceptional community is a thriving, healthy system that makes every possible attempt to maintain harmony and peace. In the exceptional community, violence could, someday, even become obsolete because the conditions that foster violence become unnecessary. 
In today’s world the exceptional community is an important model for creating a “culture of prevention,” a significant deterrent to the proliferation of violence. (The Tunisian Dialogue Quartet is an example of this.)

The Exceptional Community Model is an example of an intentional community approach.

The skills we need in order to sustain humanity....: Answer 1A: Addition

See bottom posting of this linked article for new entry on "The skills we need...."

The discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Question #1: What Makes "Community" So Important In The GRAD Paradigm?

Questions and Answers About Groder-Rosen (GRAD) Principles and Perspectives

The discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Q and A: A work in progress

There are many angles from which to come in providing full answers to this question. I could, no doubt, write an entire book, at least, to address this one question. So this blog post is going to be a long, continuously ongoing one where I will accumulate many answers to the question, along with, hopefully, a good many comments and other related questions.

Answer #1: The Dark Side cannot hide, indefinitely, in a community, especially an “exceptional (human) one.” See my discussion on New Horizons’ “Exceptional Community” approach here.

For your reflection: If the internet is a world wide community, how well is Bill Cosby doing hiding in it?

Allow me to elaborate on this one question; "What Makes "Community" So Important In The GRAD Paradigm?" This one, alone, will be a time consuming endeavor. (My comments on Bill Cosby will need, therefore, to move aside here for now.) My answers to the main question will require deep consideration which will take me some time. 

Consider this one answer (#1) to be under construction as is my GRAD theory presentation in its totality.

Completed answer under construction.

Answer #1A (Posted October 26): The skills we need in order to sustain humanity through its darkest times such as war, extremes of climate change, earthquakes, famine, drought,  economic hardships are most naturally developed in learning to live cooperatively with one another. 

The Dark Side does not do this readily except in times of immediate crisis such as the 9/11 tragedy. Hope for improvement in this comes by developing the skills used, spontaneously initially. This development, however, typically, remains undeveloped as advancement generally demands discipline and commitment which people/the Dark Side repetoire typically disallows..

Comment regarding GRAD’s application of concept of "community" as essential : 

Nonetheless, as you will see as I am able to complete the GRAD theory outline of principles:

• If individuals and groups will purposely choose to develop the necessary skills to live healthfully in communities, they would be able to, in the process, transform the lead of the Dark Side into gold of the Dark Side’s counterpart which I call the Compassionate Warrior.

• The dysfunctional community could be considered to grow out of the end result of involved individuals not choosing to learn what they could, if they set their minds to it.

• Therefore one might say (again as the completed GRAD theory outline will indicate) that “community” is of critical importance to the GRAD theory as it is the basic training camp for transforming the Dark Side as well as it is also the fruit of that labor.

Questions and Answers About Groder-Rosen (GRAD) Principles and Perspectives

This discussion in its entirety begins with this article.

Q and A: A work in progress

Since I am blessed to have an extensive network of support to help me keep on track with everything I do, now, in life, I asked members of that support network to give me feedback on my introductory piece to the Groder-Rosen (GRAD) theory.

That brought me to see, surprisingly, that simply elucidating all “I” know about the various points I offered could, in actuality, become another whole book. I hadn’t thought of that on my own. GRAD seemed so self-explanatory to me. That can happen when you are sleeping for years with someone, or a theory -- and -- when you are intent on going it alone!  You get to a place where you can't see the forest for the trees.

I used to be that way to a fault! OMG!

In fact, I found it a bit of a stretch, as a psychotherapist, to put myself in the shoes of the hundreds, if not thousands, of people, especially women, I counseled in my twenty-five years in private practice, who were co-dependent. I, personally, was almost totally anti-dependent (a true solo flyer am I)!

The book that some of my supporters saw emerging from that brief introduction, offered yesterday, to the best of my knowledge, would be a book I have no interest in writing! I think it would be a most boring exercise for me. Could the right person/co-author change my mind?

I have no idea!

What I am, now, going to do instead is take advantage of this very intriguing online creation, the blog site, to use the format to expand upon what my friends/supporters are suggesting is a mere introduction (one friend called it a” teaser”) in an attempt to expound upon my own original thinking on various aspects of that piece.

Expect this endeavor to follow in the form of “Questions and Answers.”  Some of the questions will derive from my own conjectures. Others will originate with questions and/or comments from others. I hope my format for the effort will provide reading comfort and contemplation for you, the reader.

The Interactive Side of “Questions and Answers”

Over time we at New Horizons have discovered through reader comments that our blog sites do not seem to take comments readily.  A workable alternative has been derived; if posting a comment, is troublesome for you, you can send me your comment, directly, and I will post it myself if you write me at: SuperSleuthDSW@aol.com.

This being said, there is no reason that you, the visitor to this site, if inspired to converse with me about the principles, philosophies and so forth, should hold back from doing so. As I indicated above, simply send your comments and questions to me in an email at: SuperSleuthDSW@aol.com. I will post your comments/questions etc., personally, and our dialogue can thus commence and move forward with a bit of an online “community” discussion.

You can also bring your thoughts, ideas and so forth to the Coffee House Conversations by Conference Call forum that Jack Slattery, my Possible Society In Motion Radio Show co-host, and myself host every other Thursday evening. Details here.

More on “Questions and Answers” on the way.

Coming Up Next: The Groder-Rosen Theory of Almost "Everything" Human (GRAD)

Introducing the Groder-Rosen Addiction Development Theory (GRAD)
(Originally the Survivor Addiction Development Theory (SAD) 

I have been finding it no small undertaking to translate a series of three books (still unpublished), written under contract to Random House (1988 and 1998) into an online blog format. However, the content the series covers is too important to hold back. 

It was so when the series was sold initially. It is even more so today. So an online version seems necessary, at least for now. 

Most important of the content, as I see it, are the detailed formulae the series offers for individual and collective betterment. The basic formulae provide principles that are fundamentals for model communities to serve, not only in ordinary ways, but also as learning laboratories for personal and collective transformation.

Certainly this is a rather utopian dream, most appealing, no doubt, to idealists like me. Yet at this point in time, on the heels of the award of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize to the Tunisian National Dialogue Quartet, I am inspired to put some of my top priority time and energy into another round of efforts to share the teachings passed on to me, in what I now hold to be a sacred trust, that they might be known and utilized.

Perhaps our time has come!

At the outset of this endeavor, begun last November, the effort to translate the body of knowledge developed originally by my mentor, Martin G. Groder M.D.  (1939- 2007), then researched, expanded and finally written up by myself in my three unpublished books on the subject seemed to be a worthy one. In fact, when I began this task almost a year ago, I thought the endeavor might even offer some refreshing ways and means to present what possibly had grown a bit staid as the “trilogy” sat on my shelves these past years. 

Then I began finding innumerable obstacles that took on an almost daunting quality for me. This accounts for the scantiness in the number and irregularity of my blog posts here.

Not the least of these challenges has been that Groder, in his devotion to the elegant body of theory known as Transactional Analysis (TA) and based upon it, endeavored to create the ultimate theory of the universe on how to bring the world out of its darkness into its ultimate best, if it would only see the Light. This intent on Groder’s part combined with his yearning to be known as one of, if not the, most brilliant men (people???) in his field to lead the way to such a grand destination. 

I admit to being, not only respectful and admiring of Groder’s conception, originally named the Survivor Addiction Development theory (SAD) and later the Groder-Rosen Addiction Development theory (GRAD), but one who could see the potential for its application and eventual success, if enough people would embrace and utilize it as a discipline. I was, without reservation, committed to go as far as I could with the venture. That, still, was an ambitious vision. 

Maybe the 100th Monkey Effect would thus be proven valid here in this instance. If not, so what, I, personally, would have learned to live as beautiful a life as possible, as I believed one should.

However, the “if” has had so many challenges and obstacles built into it that the vision alone could be daunting, if not adjusted for reality.  With this, I believe, I have done well.

On the up side of my challenges is that one thinking construct, in particular, is central to the message I took from Groder’s guidance and already appears to be gaining credibility. The awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to the Tunisian National Dialogue Quartet dranatically shows us that it just might be possible, even worldwide, for people to begin recognizing, respecting and acting upon the notion that --

"Communities of people working together for the good of the whole can generate enormous change for each as well as the group."

Groder made this teaching tangible in his role as one of the first prison psychiatrists at Marion Federal Penetentiary. As far back as the late 1960s (which I will write more of later) with his efforts to create a viable counterculture, within the prison soon after it opened, replacing Alcatraz as they most maximum security prison in our country. His notable contribution in this arena remains as a remarkable attainment even today.

In my advancement of Groder's theories and organziational strategies for the collective "rehabilitation" of individuals within a group, altering the group as well, I eventually blended his theories with certain methodologies, garnered from my second important teacher, New Horizons’ Beloved community development mentor, Murat Yagan. This expansion of GRAD has now given me an enhanced map and a methodology that I offer you as one that is almost fail safe in delineating how and where to travel for both personal and collective betterment, if that is what you truly want. 

The map is almost as golden as the "egg" I got from Marty. If you can interpret it, it can serve as your own personal TripTik to destination "awe," a place I hold to be attainable, if one puts forth the effort and discipline.

If you cannot make the sense of it that you need and are still intrigued, ask me. I will be your guide, if appropriate.

With all this in mind, along with the inspiration I am taking now from this recent Nobel Peace Prize award – and – the joy, fulfillment and encouragement through recent events I am involved in locally, affirming my ideals almost daily, I am prompted to now be ready again to offer one more round of the wisdom Groder handed off to me.

This is all quite a mind full (and mouthful) for me to present to you. But I am intent on doing my level best with it for this intent. 

Thus I now invite you to, once again, begin exploring this site, as well as your own Dark Side. Our personal and shared growth beckons us to seek out this “the adventure of a lifetime” and a best possible society.

More on the way.