Also see The Winners and Losers Paradigm
I have always been attracted to the words of Joseph Campbell, author of The Hero With A Thousand Faces, describing Darth Vadar as “an unformed man,” the antithesis of a true hero.
|"Whoever is not aware of|
How paradoxical is this contrast between what people often consider heroes and what just might be hiding beneath the surface, especially when we witness the fall from an apparent pinnacle of success of Harvey Weinstein. And the others like him, such as Bill Cosby, who have also taken this plummet from a peak, extolled as the heights of achievement, into a Hell hole of one’s own making.
Yet, once the scales fall away from this fiery dragon of a man, Harvey Weinstein, who could and did make and break the fortunes of untold numbers, the unformed man, as Campbell described Darth Vadar, is revealed for all to see, but the most jaundiced.
The fact, as reported by numerous media sites, that Weinstein has now already left his first foray into rehab, after only one week, vividly displays the absence of human substance, depth and determination to face up to his problems, as he more comfortably seeks return to his familiar turf.
“Traditional rehab would require Harvey to disconnect and part with his phone and he's not able to do that,” we're told.
Instead Harvey is ".. still figuring out his next move," an insider shares, "but would like to stay in the business. He loves making movies and is convinced he will find people that will work with him."
This, dear readers, if you hadn’t already figured it out, is the stuff of the Loser Survivor, not, at all, that of the Serene Survivor.
Here is my assessment of Harvey Weinstein, in current motion, as represented by my Loser Survivor table. I hope you find it edifying and a tool to help your own thinking/feeling/assessing keep clear as an aid to mucking out the waste such poor examples of humanity create for the innocent and unsuspecting.
Loser Survivors Do These Kinds of Things.
My comments, regarding Weinstein’s particular representation, are offered below.
Avoids dealing with full reality;
If you’re in the business of fantasy creating, why bother with reality?
Stubbornly holds on to being right;
Why not, if you’re holding all the chips?
Invests in defending him/herself;
Well, a bully stands on top and doesn’t have much need for actual defending, when he can buy and sell almost all, out from under others.
Sabotages the well-being of self and others;
Obvious when applied to others. But not so easily recognized by such as Weinstein and Cosby, until YOU guys, get royally caught!
Avoids taking risks related to being fully honest with self and others;
Full honesty not required when you can control and buy almost anyone and anything. Lying and denial are critical elements of the game.
Shuts others out/keeps others distant;
Now, what was that you were saying about Harvey Weinstein and his wife and the quality of their relationship?
Invests in illusions; Same as #1.
Holds grudges and resentments;
What’s that we hear about Harvey and his work with his therapist? Something about the tip of the iceberg.
“There were things that triggered [Weinstein’s] anger and our job was to help him recognize where it was coming from and how to control it. …. It was an appropriate display of anger.”And, about the various times he has actually beaten up others who angered him, including his brother?
Avoids full involvement in life;
A fantasy life doesn’t usually make much room for the trees and the birds, the sunshine and clouds. And how much genuine involvement can one truly have, even in one’s own family, when a guest visiting one’s home is taken into a next room to satisfy lustful demands. (See Lupita Nyong'o.)
Makes excuses for personal stagnation;
My goodness, “it all was “consensual,” he said.
Exploits personal fears to justify hiding;
What else might it mean when a man whose life and all he has built is totally collapsing but "He is still figuring out his next move." Experts would suggest this is optimum denial.
Avoids or breaks commitments;
Here again we can come back to his wife and children. But that’s only for starters.
Avoids valid emotional pain;
At this stage of my life, after years of dealing with the survivor/addict in me, I would know for sure that I am terrified of what lies ahead and would deeply feel the pain of all that is happening, including how I could be the perpetrator that caused much of it.
Avoids necessary grieving;
Same as #13 above.
Avoids personal responsibility;
Personal responsibility carries with it a great deal of #13 above. But that’s only for starters in digging into the fallout. Years and years of self-examination, accountability and amends. Ask any recovering addict!
Lies to self and others;
Here we are back to one of the key elements of how the game is played.
Encourages addictions in others;
This one isn’t all about Harvey. It’s about the surrounding survivor/addict culture. The same one, with our unique variations, that you and I are also living in.
Holds on to controlling others;
“Oh, please, don’t let me go, everyone. I’m sorry and I will make it up to you and get right back in it all again with you!,” said Harvey.
Avoids acknowledging limitations;
Now where was that “I’m sorry?
Instead of learning, repeats mistakes;
Here’s one blatant example. “Traditional rehab would require Harvey to disconnect and part with his phone and he's not able to do that, we're told.” But we won’t need to look far for others.
This is the Campbell’s “unformed man,” for sure. The Dark Side in motion.
One main thing can save Harvey besides himself, I promoted it in my article on The power of GRAD. It’s the power of people speaking out “truth to power,” pain and outrage.
In a democracy the many voices of the collective can almost move mountains. And, Harvey and others like him can be almost as big as the mountains, if they are in your life.
Been there, done that!